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Novi jezik Europe

Buduci da smo obecali da cemo azurno objaviti svaku vijest koja uspije sama doprijeti do nas, ne mozemo ignorirati cinjenicu da je vijest doletila. Ravno iz srca Europe, kojoj i mi, kako uporno uvjeravamo sebe i cijeli svijet, pripadamo.
Dakle, samoleteca vijest obavijestava nas o novom jeziku Europe (kojoj i mi pripadamo). Buduci da tekst gubi pravo znacenje ako se prevede, donosimo ga u izvornom obliku, tj. na engleskom tj. na euroengleskom jeziku. A i buduci da vecina stanovnika Europe (kojoj i mi pripadamo) razumije engleski jezik, nadamo se da niti nasi citatelji nece imati problema sa razumijevanjem teksta. Uostalom, i mi (kao stanovnici Europe, kojoj, kako znamo, i mi pripadamo) se moramo pripremiti za koristenje novog euroengleskog. Promjene koje predlazu, vecina Hrvata ionako oduvijek koristi. Pih, opet smo ispred svoga vremena, i opet nam nitko nece priznati da smo euroengleski odavno MI HRVATI izmislili. Dakle, nakon ovog opsirnog urednickog komentara, evo i vijesti iz Europe (kojoj i mi pripadamo).

Here is - The latest news from European Union. The News Standard has receive this bulletin fresh from our Brussels-based News Service...
The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language of European communications, rather that German, which was the other possibility, As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty’s Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short).
In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c". Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy. Also, the hard "c" will be replaced with "k". Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced by "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20 per sent shorter.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate spelling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent "e"s in the languag is disgrasful, and they would go.
By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" by "z" and "w" by "v". During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou", and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.
After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer.